Brokenheartsville
by Dracoisalooker76
Summary: Canon AU. When the winter prior to Prim's last reaping is brutal, Katniss agrees to marry Gale. But the night before her toasting has her in the arms of Peeta Mellark and the consequences will change their lives forever.
1. Brokenheartsville

Originally a set of drabbles over on Tumblr that came about from an anonymous prompt: Everlark. Katniss is jealous because a woman is flirting with Peeta at the bakery. Title taken from the Joe Nichols song.

* * *

She has no reason to be jealous. It's not as if Peeta is her husband.

No. Her husband is down in the mines, covered in coal dust and working to provide Panem with the fuel that gives them life, or whatever it is President Snow is telling them now.

She grits her teeth and glares at the overly perky blonde woman who is leaning seductively across the counter at the baker's youngest son. He even flirts back a little in a way that only Peeta Mellark can do - so effortless and natural. He grins and the dimples in his cheeks form in a way that makes her heart clench.

Peeta Mellark isn't hers. He was never going to be hers either. But that doesn't mean she's never noticed him. Never wanted him. Never wanted to murder the women that so often batted their eyelashes at him, all blonde and fair and blue-eyed beauties.

People always wonder why Peeta Mellark hasn't settled down yet. It isn't for lack of female attention. There was even talk a year or so ago about him being a little…_off_ in terms of wanting a non-traditional marriage, you know the kind that doesn't yield children? Mrs. Mellark squashed that one real fast, but still Peeta Mellark is twenty-two and unattached and in District 12 that's odd. He's just lucky that his brothers married into businesses so he could inherit the bakery - which, to be honest, is probably a good thing because if it was Rye he'd undoubtedly end up burning the whole place to the ground.

"Aww, thank you, Violet," she hears Peeta say. "That's real sweet of you. I'll keep that in mind."

Violet smiles and touches his arm and Katniss has to fight back a gag. Do people really do that? Really?

Violet turns around and when she sees Katniss in the store turns up her nose. She makes a comment about Seam trash under her breath as she passes. Finally, the bell over the door jingles and it's her turn to approach the counter.

"Afternoon, Katniss," Peeta says with the warm grin still on his face. He smirks a little though when she starts to walk – or more like waddle – toward the counter. "You look about ready to burst any second."

She glares at him. "Yes, thank you. Prim already told me that today."

He smiles sheepishly and apologizes before pulling the loaf off the shelf and wrapping it up. She gets the same thing every week. He passes her a cheese bun to eat while he wraps – for the baby, he always says – and when he's finished he comes around.

"Ugh," she groans. She runs a hand over her swollen belly.

"Active little thing, huh? She kicking?" Katniss nods and Peeta gestures to her stomach. "May I?"

Usually she snaps at anyone who asks, but with Peeta it's different. She doesn't think she'd be able to deny him anything.

"Gale must be thrilled," he says through his teeth, the smile he had disappearing as he feels each kick.

"He is," she mumbles.

Gale has told her no less than a hundred times how excited he is to teach the baby how to hunt. When her mother told her that she thought it was a girl by the way Katniss was carrying she thought Gale was going to start crying. He's been good to her since she told him she was pregnant, helping her through when she was scared and telling her everything is going to be okay.

"Well," Peeta says slowly. "With parents like you two, she's bound to be beautiful. Dark hair, gray eyes," he pushes a lock of hair behind her ear, "beautiful."

She hopes Peeta's right. Because if the baby comes out with blue eyes or blonde hair, it's going to be pretty obvious that she gave Peeta more than squirrels the night before her toasting.


	2. When The World Breaks Your Heart

Written for the prompt from sara-q and anonymous to write Katniss and Peeta's night together before the toasting. Title taken from the Goo Goo Dolls song of the same name.

* * *

Katniss and her mother had agreed on very few things since the death of Mr. Everdeen. They agreed that Katniss had, for the most part, raised Prim to the beautiful, kind, and smart-as-a-whip girl of seventeen that she was today. They agreed to give each other space and try not to argue in front of Prim – because, as much as Katniss tried to toughen her up, Prim was still as sensitive as a rose. And they agreed that, under no circumstance, would Katniss go to work in the mines.

It had never bothered Katniss any. She hated the idea of the mines, especially once Gale had gone and told her about how miserable it was down there. So, when her mother suggested that she learn the trade of healing, she tried it. She failed at it miserably, but she at least tried. She looked around the Seam to see if there was anything others needed but really the only job around the Seam for women who didn't want to work in the mines was a housewife – and Katniss had no desire to do that.

So Katniss continued her hunting and, once she aged out of the Reaping, she made a deal with the butcher and some of the vendors at the Hob. It was a decent living, enough that when supplemented with the trades that her mother did with her patients, the family never went hungry. Or, almost never went hungry. There were bad days and terrible winters, but for the most part, they did well enough so Prim never had to take out a single tessera ration. Her name was only in the bowl as many times as it had to be and Katniss counted that as a success.

The winter prior to Prim's eighteenth birthday, however, was an entirely different story.

Even going out every day, Katniss barely produced enough game to keep up her deal with the butcher and she had to stop supplying Sae in order to ensure Prim wouldn't starve. There were no extra squirrels to take to Mr. Mellark and when she ran into Peeta outside the butchers, she had to confess that the winter was just too bad. It reminded her of the winter when her father had passed away, and she never wanted to relive that again. Peeta even offered to help her out, but she couldn't take charity from him again, not yet, and she declined. She would find another way.

The logical choice would be for Prim to take out tesserae, but Katniss would never let that happen. Not now. Not when Prim was so close to the end. Her name was in there enough as it was. As the days wore on, she worried that Prim might take action herself. Prim wasn't a naive little girl anymore and knew more about the evils of the world than Katniss had ever wanted her to learn and she mentioned that to Gale.

The proposal ended up being more like a business deal than anything romantic. It wasn't as if the two were dating, even though Katniss knew of Gale's feelings for her and the fact that he hadn't married yet in hopes that she would have some sort of epiphany about her own feelings toward him. He had suggested it before, quite a few times before, but things had never been this bad. Now, when Gale brought up that his pay would raise slightly if he married and if she agreed to it he'd ensure that Prim would age out without a single tessera against her – the best odds she can have for surviving the Reaping – Katniss seized the opportunity greedily without really thinking about the logistics of what being married to Gale would actually mean. What she saw when she said okay wasn't years and years of commitment. She saw Prim, walking out of the square, completely free.

It wasn't until later that she realized just what exactly she was doing.

Hazelle and her mother were both surprised but thrilled, her mother a little more surprised and a lot less thrilled than Gale's. Prim hugged her and Gale in the moment, squealing about how excited she was, only to start screaming at Katniss once Gale had gone home, insisting that doing this to keep Prim fed when she could take out tesserae was foolish and ruining her life. But as much as telling her mother and Prim had been uncomfortable, the worst one to tell was Peeta.

The way his face dropped the day she came to his back porch, still no squirrels but a nice frown on her face instead, will forever be etched into her head. Sure, there was absolutely no way around the fact that they could never be anything. Peeta had been elected to inherit the bakery from his father when both his older brothers married into other businesses and even though Mr. Mellark was still considered by everyone in the district as 'the baker' he had given Peeta more and more responsibilities over the years, one of which was learning to haggle with the traders who came to the back door. Over the three years that they'd been trading together, they had sort of built up a rapport. At first, Katniss had no desire to really talk to the boy who had saved her life, but Peeta was always so friendly and kind and sweet that it didn't take long for her mask of indifference to fail. Their friendship emerged quite beautifully at the back door to the point where Katniss would actually come sit in the back of the bakery to talk while his father manned the front. They could talk about anything, like she and Gale did but different. She recognized that they flirted with each other. She did. At twenty-one, she was still a little naive to feelings, but she knew she had some for Peeta. However, she also knew that nothing could ever come of them. It wasn't as if she could live in the bakery and Peeta was _not_ going to work in the mines. So they flirted and teased and that was that. It was nice, but that was all that could be.

He understood, of course, because that's Peeta's nature. He didn't curse Gale or have a fit. He was visibly upset but he didn't call her stupid like Prim had or ask if that was what she really wanted like her mother. He just nodded his head and told her that if he could, in a world where it wouldn't ruin her life and turn her into the district harlot, ridiculed and sneered at, for stealing away the baker's son, he would ask her to marry him. She told him that in another world where he wouldn't have to work in the mines for marrying her and their children wouldn't have death looming over their heads, she would have said yes.

That was two weeks ago. The same day that Gale took her to the Justice Building to see when the next available time for signing the papers would be. Two weeks, they said. Gale had wanted to wait a little longer, have some time to parade her around the Seam as his fiancée, but Katniss was fine with two weeks. As soon as the ink dries, Gale's salary will increase – the Capitol's incentive to get married and have children for them to reap – and they needed that as soon as possible. Two weeks was long enough.

Tomorrow is the day. Thom is planning the party. Since Gale is the last of their friends to wed – because who has ever heard of someone waiting until they're 24 to get married? – the party is going to be huge. Katniss isn't looking forward to that. She'd much rather something small, but she won't deny Gale this. She can't. He's doing her a favor, after all.

Prim, Prim, Prim. It has become a mantra in her head.

Her hunt is absolutely terrible, but she manages to get enough to trade with Sae for the thread her mother needs to fix the dress Katniss will wear. It's her mother's dress, the one she wore when she married her father, and Katniss admits that it looks beautiful. Fine stitchery, intricate embroidery, and only slightly yellowed, it's the dress of a merchant daughter, one destined to marry a baker but ended up hand-in-hand with a boy from the Seam. Her grandparents must have hated that her mother brought it with her when she ran.

She pushes into the Hob with the weasel she shot, trading it to Sae for the thread and some paraffin. Sae also thrusts a pretty pin in her hands, something that looks expensive and not like it should be traded in the Hob. It has some sort of gems on it, purple and sparkly, only missing one toward the bottom.

"I don't…" she starts. Never in a million years would she have enough to trade for this.

"Count it as a toasting gift," the old woman says, her smile brightening her wrinkles.

Katniss does take it and turns around before Sae can see her eyes watering. She's really marrying Gale tomorrow.

Ripper also calls her over. She traded with Ripper last week - her mother needed more whiskey for her shelf – so the woman must know she doesn't need her stand today. When she arrives, Ripper holds out a small clear bottle, filled with white liquor, and winks at her.

"Ol' Abernathy's favorite. Take a swig or two of dis and all yer nerves'll disappear," Ripper tells her with a wink. "And make sure ya save a bit for night time. Boy that excited might be a lil' rough."

Katniss can feel her cheeks brighten and she quickly pockets the liquor.

Prim isn't home when she arrives. Her sister is still upset with her for doing this and has disappeared to a friend's house every time her mother pulls out the dress. Katniss wonders if Prim will even show up to be honest. She's supposed to be one of the witnesses at the Justice Building, but Katniss asked her mother to come too, just in case.

"Good," her mother says, taking the thread. "That's more than enough for what I have to do. Tell Sae thank you next time you go."

Katniss nods and her mother sets the thread down. She feels her skin prickle in warning. Her mother looks uncomfortable and Katniss doesn't want to talk about anything her mother has to say to her right now.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" her mother asks. "If you go through with this, there's no turning back."

Katniss nods her head. Her mother has asked her this a hundred times in the last two weeks.

Mrs. Everdeen sighs. "Do you know what happens in a married bed?"

_Oh no_. Katniss throws her head in her hands. She is not talking about this with her mother. Her mother that she's still not entirely sure that she trusts.

"Katniss, I'm serious," she says. "You sleep in Gale's bed as his wife and I don't care what little arrangement you've got going on between you he's going to expect certain things to happen eventually."

"I know," Katniss says through gritted teeth.

"There's no way to entirely prevent a pregnancy without not actually having sex," her mother continues and Katniss shuts her eyes. "But there are ways to make it unlikely. Do you know how?"

Katniss shrugs. She'd always figured she'd just not have sex. But, apparently, that plan has been shot right out the window.

Her mother goes over the basics. Gives her ideas of what to do. It seems like a lot – a full time job to plan around certain parts of the month. Her mother has a tea she can drink if a pregnancy happens, but Katniss can't make it herself because it's so dangerous – one misstep and both Katniss and the baby are kaput – and it needs to be consumed within a certain timeframe or her mother won't even risk it.

"And, Katniss, if you don't want to get pregnant, you make sure he pulls out every time. It isn't foolproof. You could still conceive, but it makes it less likely."

Katniss nods her head. She feels like she's on fire her face is so hot. "Can I go now?"

"Be back before dark so I can finish the hem on your dress before we lose the good light."

She runs to the woods, the only place she feels completely safe. Gale is going off with Thom and his buddies after his shift ends so she knows she won't find him here today. The woods are hers now and even though it's freezing cold she just wants to stay as far away from her mother, her dress, and her future as she can. She's doing this for Prim. She's risking having children for Prim. She's giving up her life for Prim's.

She hopes Prim will forgive her one day. Hopefully, when she ages out with only a handful of slips to her name, Prim will see that.

She's not ready to go home when she gets cold, so she wanders in hopes that it will warm her body. She shoots a squirrel. It makes her feel better. Night falls and she knows she should go home, but her mother's already going to be mad at her and they'll do the hem in the morning. So she wanders more. Eventually she remembers the small bottle in her pocket and wonders if it will help her nerves now. Probably. She takes a few big gulps and sits on a rock, thinking _Prim Prim Prim_, until she feels a nice little warmth fill her all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes. Her head feels light and she likes the feeling it gives her. She will definitely use this in the morning.

She wanders back inside the fence and wanders the street. Somewhere inside her head a voice scolds her for being out passed nightfall – if Cray were to catch her…

She wanders anyway and ends up at the bakery. She _needs_ to see Peeta.

The light in the bottom half of the bakery is still on even though she knows the store is closed. She imagines that he's getting ready for tomorrow. Sunday – his busiest day. She knocks on the door three times, her standard knock, and he comes, his face full of confusion.

"Katniss?" he asks. "What are you doing here? It's passed curfew."

She blinks a few times and hands him a squirrel. "I was supposed to stop by this morning and get toasting bread because you can't toast with tessera loaves and I forgot," she says, storming by him and inside. "Ripper gave me liquor for the wedding night and my mother – my _mother_, Peeta – told me all about what I need to do. What am I doing?"

Peeta's face turns slowly from confusion to acknowledgement. "Are you drunk?"

"Are you almost done?" she asks, pointing to the few pile of dough he has on the counter. She pulls out the bottle. "I don't want to do this alone."

"Katniss, I'm not drinking with you."

She pouts. "Please? When are we going to be able to do this again?"

They stare at each other for a few moments but Peeta falls first. "Fine. But I'm not getting drunk like you."

She grins and passes him the bottle.

In less than an hour they're both giggling, sitting together in the back corner of the bakery. They talk about nonsense and around midnight, hours after they fell to the floor, Peeta lets slip about his childhood crush on her. She wants to hear more, hear the whole story, and by the time he finishes it the small amount of liquor in her body seems to have run its course. She feels absolutely undeniably sober again.

"I was a goner," he says, turning toward her and smiling a sad smile. "And now you're going to marry Gale and we shouldn't do this anymore. It's not fair to him."

"Are you going to get married?" Katniss asks. "You could marry Madge. She isn't married."

He shakes his head. "No. That's okay. I've got the bakery and my nephews are like my kids anyway, so I'm good."

"I'm not," she says, leaning forward and capturing his lips with her own.

It's the first kiss she's ever had and it lasts about two seconds, before Peeta pushes her away and shakes his head.

"I'm not letting you cheat on Gale with me," he says. "I'm not drunk enough to do that."

"It's not really cheating," Katniss says. "We're not really dating. We're just getting married to get money so Prim doesn't have to take out tesserae. How can it be cheating?"

Peeta groans. "Don't say that."

"It's true," she says. "Gale and I have barely seen each other since we got engaged and we haven't kissed or even really held hands. We're not dating. We're just...getting married."

"Being engaged is a commitment whether you've kissed him or not."

"Don't you want me?"

Peeta rolls his eyes. "Did you not listen to my story at all?" he asks. "I love you. I do. But I'm not doing any of this when you're going to marry Gale in the morning. It's not right."

"It's not right that I'm marrying Gale in the first place!" she screams. "I want to marry you if I marry anyone at all."

"Katniss, don't say that."

She eyes him for a minute and she can see his resolve tanking right in front of her. She knows Peeta can't deny her anything and it's cruel to do this to him, but she has to. She can't marry Gale tomorrow without knowing what it would be like to be with Peeta.

She scootches over and straddles Peeta's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and kisses his jaw. "We have one last night that we can do this without it really being cheating," she says, even though she knows deep in her heart that he's right. This is cheating on Gale. "I can't marry you, but I want to give you something I can't give to anyone else."

She's never been one of those girls who held their virginity on a pedestal, but she likes this idea. She can sleep with Gale. She'll probably have to have children with Gale. But she can have her first time with Peeta. He has her first kiss. He has her first crush. She wants him to be her first everything.

"If you're sure," Peeta says.

She nods her head and looks directly into his eyes when she says, "I am."

She lets out the girliest shriek she's ever done when Peeta stands up, pulling her to him so her legs are wrapped around his waist as he kisses her neck. She gasps.

"What are you doing?"

"You think if I'm going to do this I'm going to do it in the kitchen at the bakery?" he asks, pulling open the door that leads to the upstairs apartment while keeping a hold on her back. "No way, Katniss. If I can only have you for a night, I'm doing this right."

When Mr. Mellark formally transferred the bakery to Peeta, he and Mrs. Mellark moved into the small house the Capitol assigned them when they were married. They had just never used it before, opting instead to raise their family above the bakery – much more practical and less of a walk in the mornings. So with the acquisition of the bakery came Peeta's very own apartment, something Katniss is now extraordinarily thankful for. Peeta carries her upstairs, kissing her throat, the underside of her chin. Anywhere he can reach. Once they've made it to his bedroom, he unceremoniously drops her on his bed and she lets out a single giggle before he climbs on with her, kissing her lips this time.

She always figured she was an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely different kind. As Peeta's tongue slides into her mouth, her stomach flops with an unexpected pleasantness, and her whole body is buzzing not too dissimilar to when she was flooding it with white liquor. There's an ache between her legs and without warning her hips start to rock. Peeta breaks the kiss and his hands glide down her body.

"Can I?"

"You can do whatever you want."

He presses his fingers to her through her pants and Katniss sucks in a breath. He keeps his eyes on her as he presses a few times and then stops, coming back up to kiss her chin. She whimpers at the loss of contact. She wants more of this hunger, something she never thought she'd think, and suddenly she feels the button of her pants popping open and Peeta's hand sliding in.

It feels even better now. His fingers rub her through her underwear, his hand trapped by her jeans. She starts rocking against him, her breathing erratic and her heart pounding. She feels like she's chasing something but she can't figure out what.

His fingers stop moving again, leaving her frustrated for only a moment, until he pulls her clothing from around her. She's never been completely bare in front of anyone in such an intimate way. Her pants hit the ground and her underwear follows and suddenly she feels self-conscious. Her legs, which had spread apart of their own accord, jump back together and Peeta doesn't force them apart. Instead he climbs back up the bed and kisses her breathless again.

She likes making out with Peeta. She should have done it before.

While she's kissing him, she fingers the hem of his t-shirt. If she's bare, she wants him to show skin too. He pulls back enough to tear it from his body, the shirt falling into the pile they're forming next to the bed. While he's doing that, she tosses her own shirt away and lays before him in nothing but her bra.

"You're overdressed," she says.

He gives her a look. "I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?"

She means for it to be playful and sexy and everything she wants to be for him, but instead it comes out small and she's nervous that he'll say something she doesn't want to hear. She realizes that Peeta is a good-looking boy. She also knows that he's dated girls before. Gale has dated other girls too, or at least taken them to the slag heap.

"I know enough," Peeta says, a little sheepishly. "I grew up with two brothers."

"Have you ever done this?" she asks.

He does sort of a nod but also sort of a shake of his head. "I haven't had sex," he says.

The rest is implied. He knows what he's doing because he's done most of this before, with some pretty blonde Townie princess.

"I hope you thought of me," she growls, surprising herself by the fierceness of her jealousy.

"Every time," he tells her, with a look so genuine – full of a sadness only Peeta can have when talking about past trysts – that she knows he isn't lying.

He must not want to talk to her anymore about it because he begins to kiss the thoughts right out of her. His hands grab her cheeks and he makes her forget that there are even other people in the world besides the two of them. With his tongue in her mouth and his hand massaging her breast, she isn't sure she's even real.

His hand moves again and she pulls away from the kiss to moan when his fingers finally find the source of her ache, completely bare, skin-to-skin. His finger traces small circles around her and he watches her face intently to ensure he's doing right by her. She rocks a little, trying to help him find whatever her body knows he needs to find and when he does she feels like she can't breath. She starts to make little whimpers and her eyes clamp shut as he determinedly helps her find exactly what she's chasing.

She comes with a squeal and when she opens her eyes, her body still feeling like jelly, Peeta looks awed and as if he doesn't believe this is real either.

Neither of them is all that experienced, Peeta much more so than Katniss. There is a lot of fumbling, a lot of _is this good?_ and _are you okay?,_ and even though she's a little terrified at the mechanics of the act, she trusts Peeta completely. They spend a good amount of time making each other feel good. When they join and she gives Peeta the only thing she can think to give him, it's a thick intrusion that stretches her in ways she's never been stretched, but Peeta is there, whispering in her ear and kissing her and waiting for her to tell him when. It doesn't last as long as Katniss thought it might, and he pulls out of her just in time. She doesn't end up coming, but there is some odd pleasure she gets from seeing the evidence of Peeta's desire pool on her stomach. She runs her fingers through the sticky fluid as he apologizes.

"Sorry," he murmurs. "Let me clean that up."

He leaves her alone in his bed for only a moment in order to retrieve a wet cloth. As she watches him clean her, she thinks that this is almost as intimate as the moment they shared.

He tosses the cloth to the ground when he's finished and then collects her in his arms. She rests her head on his chest, stroking his stomach with her fingers and dancing them through the light dusting of hair she finds on his lower abdomen. He traces the freckles on her arms. It's the gentle feathering of his fingertips and the soft whispers of love in her ear that she falls asleep to, wishing that she could do this for the rest of her life.

…

Peeta shakes her awake much too soon. The sun is barely shining in the sky, but such is the life of a baker. She also knows it's for her benefit, that if she didn't need to be home to get ready to go to the Justice Building with Gale, he would have let her sleep. But she doesn't have the luxury. If Gale shows up at her house and she's missing…

She's not going to think about Gale until she walks through the back door of the bakery.

She takes however many moments she has left with Peeta, enjoying a morning cuddle. She's still a little sore from last night, but Peeta insists that he can be a little late to the bakery if she'll let him taste her. She's not sure how she's going to go about the rest of her life without Peeta's head between her legs and his tongue on her _there_.

After she comes back down from the high, she realizes that Peeta is the one pleasuring her, not really the other way around, and so with his careful instructions she brings him to orgasm with her mouth.

There is nothing she wants to do less than leave the apartment above the bakery and walk back to the Seam. She actually cries a little on her walk home.

Prim is still sleeping when she returns, but her mother isn't. Mrs. Everdeen is sitting at the kitchen table, looking as if she hasn't slept all night.

"You didn't come home," her mother says. "Where were you?"

Katniss is a terrible liar. She knows that her face burns bright red and there is no way her mother will believe her if she says she was in the woods, but she has to. There is no other way around it.

"The fence was on. I slept in Dad's old hut by the lake."

Her mother gives her a suspicious glance, but Katniss has never once told her mother about her friendship with Peeta. The only person who would ever suspect anything is Mr. Mellark, who is often in the front of the shop when she and Peeta would talk in the back, and he had yet to arrive when Katniss disappeared out the back door. The suspicion falls from her mother's face and she accepts the story.

"Well, that was terrible timing," she says. "Now we're going to be working on the dress right up until Gale gets here."

When Prim gets up, Katniss is standing in the living room with her mother's wedding dress on, the hem just right for her five nothing frame. Her sister crosses her arms and doesn't smile when she says, "You make a beautiful bride, Katniss."

She finishes off the rest of Ripper's alcohol while waiting for Gale. The bottle wasn't too large and she had allowed Peeta to drink a fair amount of it to catch up to her. When Gale arrives she has that nice buzz, but the nerves she feels are still there, just intensified. Her signature on three dotted lines on three separate documents – one for them, one for the records, and one for the Capitol – looks nothing like it should. It's all shaken lines and she's pretty sure on the one she and Gale are allowed to keep she spelled her name as Everdeeen.

And just like that, it's over. Officially she is no longer Katniss Everdeen. She is Katniss Hawthorne in the eyes of the Capitol and the officials of District 12. All that's left is the toasting and then she'll really be a Hawthorne.

The party, just as Thom promised, is huge. All the men in Gale's shift are there with their wives and children. Thom brings his growing brood, as does Bristel, Gale's two best friends. Katniss hadn't realized until all of their peers are together just how many of them were married and parents. She and Gale are clearly the minority. Some of his buddies, the ones he graduated with and aged out alongside, have multiple kids, some that even toddle around and have personalities and don't just drool on the mother's shoulder.

"It won't take him long to knock you up, Katniss," Thom jokes. "He's been itchin' to have his own since Sage was born. I was nervous he was gonna steal my kid."

Gale chuckles and at least has the decency to blush, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "We've still got four kids to get through the Reaping," Gale murmurs, but Katniss knows his head and his heart don't mix. In his head, she knows he agrees with her. Having children is out of the cards. But Gale has been a 'father' since before she knew him and now that it's finally time to raise his own...she knows he wants that.

"We'll see," Thom laughs.

"We don't have to," Gale tells her later that night. They're getting ready for bed in their new house, the house they were given for getting married. "Not tonight."

She's still a little sore, so she nods her head. "Okay," she says. If he's going to let it slide tonight, she isn't going to fight him. She's still thinking about Peeta anyway.

They do sleep in the same bed, but she keeps her back to him the first few nights. After that he takes things into his own hands. He wraps his arms around her when he thinks she's sleeping, tries to cuddle with her. She knows he'll want to consummate their marriage eventually. After the cuddling, he adds kisses and she spends one final night ignoring him, trying to wrap her head around what she's going to do, and then two weeks and five days after their toasting, with a promise to pull out, she allows it.

…

She has been married six weeks and three days when she wakes up before the sun, rushing to the front door so she can throw up in the bushes. Gale is getting ready to go to the mines when it happens and he rubs her back before pulling her back in the house. She stays in bed, insists it's a stomach bug, and sends him on his way. But she does it again the next morning. And she feels queasy all day. So she goes a few streets over to her mother's to see if anyone has reported this bug yet and ask if she knows what she can do to kick it.

The news she gets from her mother isn't what she wants. There hasn't been anyone with a bug and that _bug_ she has sounds a lot like morning sickness.

"Have you bled?"

Katniss has never been regular. No one in the Seam is. They don't get enough nutrients or food most of the time and even if they did the stress of living here would be enough to be irregular. So her mother can never tell just by that. Her mother tells her to watch out for it, and gives her a list of other symptoms that Katniss won't admit she's having, and when Katniss declines the tea – because she is_ not_ pregnant – Mrs. Everdeen tells her that she'll check in with her in a few months.

She goes home and curls up in bed, hoping that she'll bleed, even a little, to show her that her mother is wrong. That her nausea will go away when she kicks the bug. That she feels tired because she's been lazing around. That her breast tenderness is because Gale is rough, even though she knows he isn't – say what she wants about Gale, he's actually a particularly gentle and generous lover, something she hated at first because she so wanted him to be the complete opposite of Peeta, to separate them in her mind.

But she hopes for nothing.

Katniss Everdeen – _no_, Katniss Hawthorne is pregnant.

And there's a chance her baby might be a Mellark.


	3. All That You Leave Behind

Written for the anonymous prompt for a drabble showing when Peeta finds out that Katniss is pregnant.

* * *

It's late spring and a beautiful day, and she's walking home from her friend's house when she hears the small jingling of coins in her pocket and she remembers that her mother had asked her to stop by the bakery and buy a loaf of bread. Prim bites back a groan and looks behind her. The bakery seems so far away now. She'll go tomorrow and if her mother really needs it, she will go after she gets home.

Earlier, her friends were all giggling about Rory Hawthorne, who grew up spectacularly well for being the scrawny preteen she had been best friends with and gradually grew up together alongside. She had noticed too how Rory seemed to even eclipse Gale in the height department and how low his voice had dropped. He's a carbon copy of his brother - tall, dark, and extraordinarily handsome. Yes, she had noticed.

But that was before her sister had gone and married his brother.

She knows it's irrational to hate her sister for it. That Katniss did all of this for _her_ in the first place. That the coins in her pocket wouldn't be there if it weren't for the addition to Gale's salary that came from making Katniss his wife. But Katniss never wanted to get married and just because she changed her last name to match his doesn't mean she's in love with him. And it's not as if Prim and Rory were dating. They flirted often and he'd been her first, second, fifteenth kiss, and she just sort of assumed that after the Reaping was done they'd go down to the Justice Building. He was her best friend and it was a natural progression.

But then Gale proposed to Katniss and to the shock of everyone she said yes and Prim learned that it is very easy to hate her sister when Rory is slinging his arm over her shoulder at the toasting party and calling her _sister_ as if he kisses Posy the same way he has kissed her.

They weren't dating. They were learning, or so he said. He had always been very precise with his language, keeping clear of anything that would imply that what they were doing was anything serious. It was like twelve-year-olds saying, _let's just kiss to see what it feels like_, except they were seventeen and didn't stop when they knew nothing was coming out of it.

Prim fell and Rory didn't. _Boo fucking hoo for you, Prim_, she thinks bitterly.

It's easier to hate Katniss though – hold this grudge against her sister for getting everything that Prim wants in life when she actively said she never wanted it. It's easier because if she blames Rory then she shares part of the blame.

Rory was supposed to fall in love with her.

But, now that her sister is a Hawthorne, she guesses that it doesn't make much difference. Gale got his Everdeen first. Now she's seventeen – soon to be eighteen – with no romantic prospects because she's sweet as sugar Primrose Everdeen, Rory Hawthorne's sloppy seconds, and just a little too blonde to be trusted, even though she has the same amount of coal dust under her fingernails as everyone else.

Now she'll just waste her life away, healing the wounds of all the miners and the colds of little children. She'll live with her mother for the rest of her life because no boy in the Seam has ever paid any sort of attention to her because she looks like a Townie and lives in the Seam and there must be some sort of taboo about that, something written on her forehead that says 'Seam Boys Beware' that flashes in red and keeps them at a distance.

Or maybe it's just her sister that does that for her.

She'll blame Katniss for that too.

Her sister is actually at the house when she gets there, sitting in the soft chair in the corner that her mother puts patients in when she thinks they're going to pass out. Katniss's eyes are squeezed tightly shut and she's rocking back and forth, her arms wrapped tight against her abdomen. The majority of Prim's hatred falls to the wayside when she sees this – because as much as Prim is angry with her sister, Katniss is still one of the most important people in her life – and she drops her school bag to the ground and kneels beside her.

"Katniss?" she asks, putting her hands on her sister's knees. "Kat, honey? You okay?"

"Prim," she hears her mother say. "Leave her alone."

She turns to glare at her mother. That's another thing that has been bothering her. In the last few months since Katniss married, but more so since a few weeks ago, her mother seems to know more about Katniss's life than she does, as if her mother has taken the place in Katniss's heart that Prim once occupied. That's her fault, she supposes, because she has held this irrational grudge against her sister, but it slowly seems that her mother and Katniss are being pushed together by all of this and Prim is being pushed to the side.

"There's something wrong," Prim hisses.

"Prim, come here." When she doesn't move, her mother crosses her arms. "Now, Primrose."

Reluctantly she stands and walks away from her sister, who continues to rock and ignore everyone in the room. It reminders her a little of their mother when she has those moments of intense grief, the ones that never went away at first and are the reason that Katniss hates her.

She supposes she should be glad that Katniss and her mother are getting along and there is a little bit of happiness in her heart for that, but most of her is jealous. She's jealous of Katniss. She's jealous of her mother. She's angry at the world and she's seventeen so that's normal, right?

Katniss hated the world at seventeen too, just in a slightly different way.

"Are you going to help her?" Prim hisses when her mother pulls her to the far corner of the room. "Or do you enjoy watching her suffer like this."

"I can't really do anything right now," her mother says.

"And why not?"

Mrs. Everdeen sighs and shakes her head. "She's pregnant, Prim. And she's too far along to do anything about it."

Prim takes a step back. "What? No."

"I told her weeks ago that I thought she was and she repeatedly told me she wasn't. Now it's too late to do anything," her mother tells her. "She's been like that for an hour. I want you to go over to their house. I think Gale should be getting off his shift soon and I want to see if he can knock her out of it."

"She's pregnant?" Prim whimpers, looking over her shoulder.

A rush of emotions fills her body. She told Katniss not to get married. She told her that risking everything she believed in just so that Prim would have three less names in the bowl during the Reaping was the stupidest idea she'd ever heard. And up until now, Katniss lived with Gale but it hadn't seemed real. Her sister still stopped by and still seemed like the same ol' Katniss.

It hadn't seemed like Prim had really ruined her life yet.

She hates her sister and she wants to wrap her sister in a blanket and hide her away from the world all at the same time.

"I didn't get the bakery bread," Prim says.

Her mother shakes her head. "That's not really important right now," she says. "You can go after you grab Gale if you don't want to be here."

Prim walks the couple streets over to her sister's house and sits on the porch. She wraps her legs in her arms and watches as the first batch of miners walk home, their boots stomping against the dirt roads, heavy with from the labor of the day. It can't be more than twenty minutes later that she sees Gale. He walks with Thom, laughing about something, but when he sees Prim on his steps, his face drops entirely.

He claps Thom on the back and then rushes toward her.

"Prim?"

"It's Katniss," she says. "She needs you."

Gale walks quickly. His strides are long and Prim basically has to run to keep up. They make it to her home in record time and Gale drops his things outside before charging in. Prim picks up Buttercup from the ground outside their fence. He hisses a little at first, but ultimately falls into her arms like a limp rag. She's glad because needs something to cuddle and help her through this.

She spent her entire walk home angry with Katniss and her sister was in so much pain the entire time. It makes her sick to her stomach.

When she walks back in the house, Gale is kneeling in the place she had been before, only his hands are on her face, not her knees, and he's talking to her in low tones. It's the first time that Prim has seen Katniss's eyes open and she almost wishes that she hadn't. Her eyes are bloodshot, red and puffy and look more painful than a broken bone.

She squeezes Buttercup a little tighter.

"Catnip, come on. You're gonna be okay," Gale whispers, bringing her forehead to his. "I promise. We'll get Prim through the Reaping and nothing bad will happen. This is a good thing."

Prim narrows her eyes, drops Buttercup, and turns around to walk out the door. That is not what Gale should be saying. Anyone would know that and certainly as her _husband_ Gale should know that telling Katniss that a baby is a good thing is not how to make her feel better about it. He should be telling her that he'll protect it. That he'll make sure nothing happens to it. That he'll provide, even if it means he has to hunt in the woods when he's supposed to be sleeping. Her sister lives in a tangible world and little feel-good phrases mean nothing.

She arrives at the bakery just as Peeta Mellark is turning the OPEN sign to CLOSED. She sighs and turns around again. She'll just come back tomorrow.

"Hey, Prim!" she hears. She turns around. Peeta nods his head. "Come on in. You can be my last customer."

She follows Peeta inside the bakery. It's all clean floors and countertops. Mr. Mellark must be in the back, or has already gone home for the night.

"Sorry," she murmurs. He probably wants to go home.

"Not a problem. I was just going into the back to get some things done for tomorrow. I'm glad I caught you," Peeta tells her with a warm smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Do you have bread that makes people feel good?" she jokes. It comes out a little flat. She holds up her coins. "And for this price?"

Peeta leans against the counter and studies her. "Bad day at school?"

"Bad day period," she says. "And it just keeps getting worse."

"Want to talk about it?"

She has never_ever_ talked to Peeta Mellark before besides a few pleasantries when she stops in to buy bread with the money Gale gives them. But Peeta is one of the nicest people in District 12 and when he asks it doesn't seem out of the ordinary. It actually makes her feel good.

So she lets loose.

"I just," she says. "I can't even feel bad about myself because I feel terrible when I think my own life is bad. How is it that I feel guilty about being angry when I have every right to be?"

Peeta must sense that she's going to start a rant because he guides her into the back and sits her down on a bench. Prim doesn't stop for breath or anything. She just lets everything out. She tells him everything she hasn't been able to tell anyone else. How her friends all thought it was wonderful that her sister and Gale were getting married. How she wanted to pull her hair out. How she almost didn't show up at the Justice Building to be their witness so they couldn't do it. She tells Peeta about how much she hates Katniss for doing it, for ruining her life to possibly save Prim's, and she tells him that she still loves her even though she's so mad.

"And now she's pregnant and she's having a nervous breakdown and it's all my fault!"

Peeta's eyes widen. "P-pregnant?"

She nods her head. "Pregnant. She is having a baby, the one thing in the world that she never wanted to do, and she's doing it to keep me safe," she says. "What if all of this is for nothing? What if I get Reaped? She ruined her life and I'm still dead."

"She's pregnant?"

Prim glances up at Peeta, whose face has drained of all color, and narrows her eyes. "Yeah," she says, looking at him curiously. She doesn't understand why he's so hung up on it. Does he even know Katniss?

"She and Gale," he mutters under his breath. "It has to be. You don't get pregnant the first time. Everyone knows that."

He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. He makes a disgusted face, an upset face, and Prim finds all of this very odd.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

This seems to pull him from whatever trance he went into because he nods and smiles back at her. "Yeah," he tells her. "I was just wondering today why she hadn't been at the back door with squirrels recently. She probably hasn't been hunting if she's...pregnant."

Oh, right. Her sister's trades. Peeta must deal with that now.

"Yeah, I don't think she went last week," she says. "Dead animals and morning sickness probably don't go well together."

Peeta jumps up out of his chair. "Well, let me get some bread for you to take. She probably needs something she can eat. Bland bread is good for that, right?" And then he wanders out toward the front almost like he doesn't want to talk to her anymore. Prim sits in the back until he returns, questioning Peeta's suddenly jumpy behavior, and tries to pay him for the three loaves that he presses into her hands but he just tells her it's on the house.

"A congratulatory gift," he says. "For the happy couple."

She snorts. Happy isn't exactly the word she would use to describe them right about now.

Prim gets home much after dark. Her mother is sitting on the couch, knitting with some of the yarn Katniss got at the Hob a few weeks ago.

"They go home?" she asks.

Her mother shakes her head. "They're in the bedroom. Katniss is doing a little better, but I told them to stay until Gale was comfortable taking her home."

"I got bread," she says. "Peeta Mellark gave it to me for free."

"Why would he do that?" her mother asks.

She shrugs. "For the happy couple," she says. "I told him about Katniss," she adds, leaving out the fact that she spent a good chunk of time complaining to him too, "because he had asked where she was these last few weeks. I told him she probably hadn't gone out because of the issue."

"Don't call it an issue," her mother says.

"Why not?" she asks. "Until Katniss is happy about it, none of us should be. I'm just supporting her."

Her mother shakes her head. "I don't want to deal with the new attitude you've picked up right now, Prim. Okay? It's been a long day and you're wrong. That is the last thing your sister needs right now."

"You all think you know her so well," Prim sneers. "But you don't. Hearing us tell her about how good this is will just end up making her feel guilty for not wanting it."

Her mother turns back to her knitting.

Prim sits at the kitchen table, not wanting to even be in the same area.

When Katniss walks out, Gale behind her looking as if she's some sort of fancy glass plate that will smash to pieces if it falls, Prim offers the plain bread in their direction.

"Present from the bakery," she says. "Congratulations to the happy couple and, when you can kill animals without puking, he wants some squirrels."

"I'll be sure to thank Mr. Mellark on Sunday," Gale says, taking it and tearing off a piece to give Katniss. She accepts it.

"No, it wasn't Mr. Mellark," Prim says. "It was Peeta."

Katniss spits out the bread and takes it from Gale's hands, pressing it back to Prim. "We don't need it," she says, her voice an octave higher than it should be. She turns to Gale, who is eyeing her with just as much curiosity and suspicion as Prim is herself. "It's charity."

Gale takes it back from Prim. "We do need this. You have to eat something," he says. "I'll give him an extra squirrel on Sunday. Don't worry. It won't be charity."

"Okay," Katniss mumbles, looking down at her feet.

She decides not to tell Katniss about the rest of the bread being free too.

…

The next day there is a knock on the back door of the bakery. Peeta looks toward the front and sees his father dealing with a line of customers and then opens the door. Katniss is standing on his step, looking like she hasn't slept, and she pulls him outside onto the back stoop.

"Prim told you?" she asks.

He nods. "It's Gale's," he says. "It has to be. You can't get pregnant the first time. That's what everyone says."

"My mother says you can." Katniss frowns. "And she thinks the baby was conceived around the wedding or in the few weeks after."

Peeta runs his hands through his hair and turns around, leaning his forehead on the closed door. He turns back around after taking a breath. "I'm so sorry, Katniss," he says. "If I had known – "

"Stop," she says. "It's not your fault. I was all over you."

"I let you."

She blows out a breath. "Well, it's done, so I guess...we just have to wait and see." She shakes her head. "I don't even know what to tell Gale."

"Don't tell him anything," Peeta says. "If he doesn't need to know, don't tell him. The baby could very well be his and come out with grey eyes and dark hair and he'll never know. Don't ruin your life because there's a tiny chance this baby is mine."

"Okay."

He gives her a hug and she falls against his chest, pressing her face into his shirt, smelling the warm cinnamon and dill scent that she fell in love with and got her into this situation in the first place. But as soon as the hug begins, it ends, and Peeta looks around.

"The baby is Gale's," Peeta tells her, pressing a hand to her abdomen, as if it will transmit something to the tiny life growing inside her and ensure that the paternity is her husband.

As much as he would love for the baby to be his, for Katniss to be carrying his child, he knows that is a recipe for disaster. Katniss is married to Gale, a commitment that will stay with her for the rest of her life, and it is in everyone's best interest if the baby comes with a head full of dark hair and eyes as gray as the snow when it mixes with the coal dust. In another world, having Katniss carry his child would be cause for celebration.

This is not that time.

He wants more than anything for Katniss to give birth to Gale's child. While it will hurt him tremendously, it will make Katniss's life a whole lot easier. That's what he needs. If he can't have Katniss, he wants her to have the best life she can have.

"The baby has to be Gale's," he repeats. "It's what's best for everyone."

Peeta has always been good at words. Even in school, he could sweet talk even the strictest of teachers when he needed to help someone out. But words can't fix this. The baby already has a father.

They'll just have to wait and see who it is.


	4. Creeping Where No Life is Seen

Written for the anonymous prompt to see the baby. Chapter title taken from Dickens.

* * *

_Creeping where no life is seen,__  
__A rare old plant is the Ivy green.__  
__~Charles Dickens, "The Ivy Green"_

It's not uncommon in the Seam for a father to miss the birth of his child. There is coal to mine and quotas to fill. While Katniss is laboring at her mother's house, Mrs. Everdeen tells her about how her father actually delivered her. He missed Prim completely, who was six hours old by the time he came home from his shift, but when Katniss had been born, Mrs. Everdeen had still been something of a social pariah in the Seam and hadn't trusted anyone to help her when the contractions began except her husband. He had asked Sae to stop by and she had shooed Sae away, opting instead to curl up in a corner, begging Katniss to stay inside until her father returned. She was already crowning when Mr. Everdeen, sprinting across the Seam in his work boots, entered their little home.

Katniss rolls her eyes at her mother's behavior, even then questionable. Her mother was always risking hers and Katniss's lives, it seems.

Now it's just her and Katniss again. Prim disappeared last night around the time that Gale brought Katniss to Mrs. Everdeen, terrified that the labor had begun. It had begun, but only just, and Mrs. Everdeen had instead told him to take her home, get her relaxed, and bring her back when the contractions were five minutes apart or when he needed to go to work, whichever came first.

But now it was morning. Gale had gone to work. Prim had yet to show her face. And it was just going to be her and her mother for this lovely milestone.

She grits her teeth and glares at her mother who is roaming around the kitchen while Katniss lies on the table. There's nothing that Mrs. Everdeen can really do right now, except maybe hold Katniss's hand and tell her kind things, but even if Katniss wanted it – and she doesn't, not at all – she would never ask her mother to do this for her. It's just not their relationship. She would ask Prim, but Prim has vanished and likely won't come back. Their relationship isn't anything like it used to be either.

Mrs. Everdeen washes her hands in the sink and comes back over. If Katniss wasn't in so much pain, she'd be mortified at the idea of her mother touching her down there, putting her fingers where only Peeta and Gale have ever been. But, Katniss's contractions started sixteen hours ago, and she can't think of anything else besides getting the baby out.

"Almost there, honey," Mrs. Everdeen says. She looks up at the clock and frowns. "I don't think Gale will make it though."

"That's fine," Katniss hisses.

She's actually the opposite of her mother. She is hoping Gale _won't_be here. She wants to be able to look at this baby before her husband because if the baby is blonde or has bright blue eyes...she's going to need to learn how to lie – and quick.

She pushes for what feels like many sunlit days before her mother places the tiny slimy little person on her chest. Mrs. Everdeen pats the little girl's back, briskly rubs her down with a blanket, and smiles at Katniss as the baby lets loose her first scream.

While Katniss is staring at her daughter, her mother severs the umbilical cord with a knife and reminds her that she still needs to deliver the afterbirth. But Katniss isn't paying too much attention. The baby's eyes are squeezed shut, her mouth open so she can squeal, and all Katniss can do is stare in awe of this tiny creature, whose head is covered in flaxen hair. Finally it seems that the baby tires herself out because the screaming stops and she falls asleep.

Once her mother finishes cleaning her up, she comes to stand near her head. "Congratulations, Katniss," she says. "She's beautiful."

"Why is she blonde?" Katniss asks, her voice an octave higher than it should be.

Her mother actually laughs. "It happens. You were born blonde too, you know." Katniss must not look convinced, because her mother shakes her head. "Her hair will fall out and will probably come back dark like yours did. Stop looking so nervous. Enjoy this baby before Gale gets here and steals her away."

By the time that Gale arrives, the baby is sucking greedily at Katniss's breast. He walks over to where she's laying, now on the couch by the door.

"Boy or girl?" is the first thing out of his mouth.

"A beautiful little girl," Mrs. Everdeen tells him. "A little bigger than expected too, which is good, considering how early she is."

But she isn't that terribly early. Her mother is making judgments based on when she and Gale consummated their marriage. If the girl is Peeta's, she's been in the womb for almost three weeks longer at the least.

"My mother says I was born blonde too," she insists before he even gets a chance to really look at her. "And all babies have blue eyes."

He chuckles, as if it's not a problem that their daughter, who everyone expects to have dark features, is fair and flaxen. Instead he just stares at her for a while longer before she moves away from Katniss's breast and Mrs. Everdeen asks if he wants to hold her. He nods his head, asking to wash his hands in the sink first. He removes his large coat and the workman's shirt he has on under it, taking most of the coal on his body with it. He's careful to scrub his arms and spends a good ten minutes at their sink before he comes over and sits down.

Katniss doesn't particularly want to let go. It's why she hadn't asked him yet, but she hands the tiny baby over to her husband.

She doesn't think she's ever seen Gale smile so broadly, not even in the woods, not even on the day they married.

"Look at you," he coos. "Look at how precious you are, little girl. You got some Hawthorne height on you already, don't you? Not gonna be a little pipsqueak like Momma, huh?"

Maybe it's just her hormones or the stress of the day, but the way that Gale talks to her makes Katniss cry. He's so good to her already, as if this creature that's barely a few hours old, is the most precious gem the world can make, and Katniss isn't even sure she's his. Not until the blonde newborn hairs transition to her true texture and color, and her eyes lighten into gray, or even change to the dark blue eyes her mother and sister share.

"Hey," Gale says, drawing her out of her thoughts. She turns to him and he, still holding the baby, kisses the tears running down her cheeks. "You alright?"

"Just marveling at how good a father you are," she says. It's not that far from the truth.

He grins and gives her a kiss on the lips. "I love you, Catnip."

The lump in her throat makes way and she starts crying again, giving her an excuse not to say it back.

…

They name their daughter Ivy and it amazes Katniss how fast she grows. Her mother is right about the hair. One day a few weeks after she's born she goes to pick her daughter out of the bassinet they keep beside their bed and the sheet is covered in fine flaxen baby hair. Over the next week or so, her daughter loses the rest, and when it begins to grow back in it's clearly much darker than before. It makes Katniss breath a little easier.

Time flies quickly now that Ivy Hawthorne has made her debut and everyone around wants to see her, but Katniss very rarely leaves the house with her. She knows Gale tells people that she's just overly protective, but she's waiting. Waiting waiting waiting ever so patiently for Ivy's bright blue eyes to fade into a more silvery shade to match her parents'.

They don't.

Gale mentions it one night when they're rocking her to sleep. Gale has the six month old in his arms, carefully rocking and bouncing her as to try to get her to finally rest. Splashing in the water basin got her to stop crying, but her eyes just won't seem to close and let her drift off to sleep.

"You're gonna keep your merchie eyes, aren't you?" he directs at Ivy.

It's innocent enough, even though his tone is a tad harsh, but it puts a fire in Katniss's stomach.

"Don't say that to her."

"She's six months old, Catnip," he says. "I could tell her anything and she won't remember it."

Katniss glares at him, walking over and taking the baby from his arms. It startles her and she starts screaming and Gale groans exasperatedly.

"I just got her to stop crying!"

"If you say things to her now, you'll get into the habit of it," Katniss hisses. "And if she has merchant eyes, so what? You knew what you were getting into when you married me."

Gale doesn't say anything. Instead, he pulls on his coat and walks out the door, probably going out toward the woods. Katniss turns her attention to the baby, who is still screaming, and tries the trick of splashing in the water again. She sits in the chair Gale had pulled up, holding Ivy in one arm and playing in the basin with her free hand. The water soothes her and gets her to stop crying, but Katniss is still in the same predicament as before. The baby won't close her eyes, intently watching Katniss instead, and she sighs.

"Come on. You know you want to sleep," she says. She takes a deep breath and after she's tried everything she can think of, she whispers, "How about the Valley Song? You want to hear the Valley Song?"

She hasn't sung in years, not since Prim was little, and she's not even sure she remembers all the words anymore. But the song comes easy to her after a while and the little girl fights the sleep, trying to get to the end of the song, but she's a goner. She's fast asleep before Katniss finishes the third verse. But she finishes the song, just to ensure Ivy is deeply sleeping, and then sets her down in the bassinet before sliding into bed herself. Her daughter will be up in a few hours anyway most likely.

Gale stumbles in an hour or so later, waking her up when he climbs into their bed. He must know she's awake because he wraps his arm around her and mutters that he's sorry, but Katniss pretends not to hear him, to see if he mentions it tomorrow.

He doesn't.

…

The first time that she and Ivy leave the Seam is during the summer. All winter she stayed indoors. Gale did the hunting on Sundays and Katniss stayed locked up in the house with Ivy, afraid of what questions she'd receive when people saw her daughter's merchant eyes. She's surprised though that, when all of Gale's friends gush over Ivy on their way home from the Reaping, they don't even comment on them. The only one who does is Thom, who makes a joke about how _of course_ Gale's daughter would inherit the Town genes that Katniss's own body suppressed. Gale whacks him hard in the arm for it.

She begins to believe it herself. Her daughter doesn't quite have the shade her mother and sister have, whose eyes are much darker and almost look black they're so cobalt in color, but the idea that the blue eyes come somehow from her mother makes Katniss wonder if maybe it's true.

She finally goes out hunting again, leaving Ivy with her mother while she's outside the fence. She misses the baby terribly while she's out and, even though she was going to pick her up after her trades, she rushes to her old home first. She's just going to the Hob and the butcher, and Sae absolutely loves her.

Katniss straps the baby to her chest in some sort of contraption her mother made for her and wanders out. It takes her considerably longer than it should at the Hob because Sae has to hold her – and Darius too. She heads over to the butcher, who is quick and doesn't care about the kid strapped to her chest, and when she's hopping off the porch she sees the back door of the bakery open and Peeta step out.

They make eye contact as he tosses some stall loaves to the pigs and Katniss knows she has a squirrel in her bag that she could trade with him in order to spend just a few minutes over there. But she wonders if it's too much of a risk – that even if her daughter is Gale's, with the blue-eyed gene from her mother, that people won't start to get ideas.

"Hey, Everdeen, you got any squirrels?" Peeta calls over at her, smiling in a way that appears friendly but not too friendly.

Her body walks over despite her head being against it.

"It's not Everdeen anymore," she mutters when she gets there.

"Oh, right," he says. He mumbles the rest. "But I'm not calling you Mrs. Hawthorne."

They exchange a squirrel for a loaf of bread and then the baby begins to fuss. Peeta offers to let her wash her hands in the back so she can pick her up without having to worry and Katniss notices that he washes his hands too.

"So this is little Ivy," Peeta says when Katniss pulls her off her chest and begins bouncing her. "Gale's told me all about her. He's already bragging about you to everyone he sees, pretty girl."

Ivy's fussing stops when Katniss soaks her finger in water and lets her daughter suck on it. She's going to have to wait until she gets home to be fed. She's not feeding Ivy in the bakery.

She's not entirely sure how it happens. Well, she does. She asks Peeta if he'd like to hold her and he accepts and suddenly she's looking at Peeta holding her daughter. He rocks her gently and the two stare at each other until Ivy drifts off to sleep.

"She's beautiful, Katniss," he says, looking up at her.

It's not what Katniss means to say at all. She means to say thank you. Means to tell him that he's right, Gale loves to brag about her, tell him how everyone in the Seam knows when Ivy hits a milestone. It's what she means to say.

What actually comes out is, "She has your eyes."

Peeta shakes his head. "No," he says, as if he's not even going to entertain the idea. "That's not true."

"It is," she says.

Again, Peeta shakes his head, looking back at the baby he's cradling in his arms. "No. The blue eyes come from your side. That's it. She looks just like you," he says. "It's better that way. It's so much better for you and for Ivy if your husband is her father. A pair of blue eyes doesn't make your case."

He closes his eyes. "Seriously, Katniss, what...what would we even do? We can't, even if it is true."

"It would ruin Ivy's life," Katniss says, catching onto what he's getting at.

"Exactly," Peeta says, leaning down to kiss the baby's forehead before carefully handing her over to her mother.

"How can you be so selfless?" she asks. "She might be yours, she's probably yours, and you're going to watch Gale raise her without putting up a fight?"

Peeta looks down at Ivy and Katniss understands.

The minute the little girl was born she felt the same way.

* * *

Ivy wreathes were used in Ancient Greece to symbolize fidelity and fertility. Ivy is also a plant that is known for clinging and binding. Ivy acts as a binding tie for Katniss and Peeta.

While I have no plans to add onto this in the forseeable future, I may add a drabble here one day. I also have a few friends interested in possibly taking Ivy for a spin, so you may see those popping up as well. You can find me over on Tumblr at Dracoisalooker76.

Thank you for reading!


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